This is actually in homage to my colleague Jane, self-proclaimed ignorer of spelling and grammar. Hopefully, she will continue to provide me with entertaining queries about words and outbursts of disbelief when I say I’ve spotted another mistake on a sign and that yes I have taken a photograph of it….
As she astounds me with her disregard for getting letters in the correct order and her inability to spot when an apostrophe is in the wrong place, I decided to start off a ‘Jane of the Week’. This will be a blog entry to ensure her ‘Janeisms’ are held for as long as this blog exists. However, she does leave to have a baby soon* so the feature may be relatively short-lived.
Let us begin with Jane’s Rules of Grammar:
1. Apostrophes are messy.
I love this; I have never actually heard this argument for getting rid of the apostrophe before. It is simple and to the point, and for the most part, true – but only when they are used incorrectly.
2. Hyphens are too hard.
A nice little commentary on Jane’s mindset here, for all she moans about language, she managed to make her statement alliterative. Although I did have difficulty with whether ‘hellhole’ was hyphenated, two words, or one word earlier this week. So really, who am I to judge? **
3. Commas are fiddly.
I think she had given up at this point.
I exist as Jane’s personal dictionary and encyclopaedia of random knowledge. In a conversation today, I was asked “is it encorporate or incorporate?” – I despair.
I do feel somewhat proud today though. Having pointed out that her spelling of ‘stationary’ was incorrect when in the context of letters, post-it notes and staples; I also pointed out that she could easily remember how to spell it.
“It’s simple” I said, “remember to use an ‘e’ for ‘envelope’ when you mean that sort of stationery.”
Jane is now convinced she’ll never forget the spelling of stationery/stationary now. My work here is done.
*Which she has tried to blame her spelling blindness on.
**edit – as I tried to post this to Facebook it prompted me to enter a security phrase. The phrase contained hyphens, numbers and commas – make it hard why don’t you Facebook?