Jane of the Week

No, not an excuse to post pictures of Patrick Jane (Simon Baker) of the Mentalist. Well, okay then, just this once.

This is actually in homage to my colleague Jane, self-proclaimed ignorer of spelling and grammar. Hopefully, she will continue to provide me with entertaining queries about words and outbursts of disbelief when I say I’ve spotted another mistake on a sign and that yes I have taken a photograph of it….

As she astounds me with her disregard for getting letters in the correct order and her inability to spot when an apostrophe is in the wrong place, I decided to start off a ‘Jane of the Week’. This will be a blog entry to ensure her ‘Janeisms’ are held for as long as this blog exists. However, she does leave to have a baby soon* so the feature may be relatively short-lived.


Let us begin with Jane’s Rules of Grammar:

1. Apostrophes are messy.

I love this; I have never actually heard this argument for getting rid of the apostrophe before. It is simple and to the point, and for the most part, true – but only when they are used incorrectly.

2. Hyphens are too hard.

A nice little commentary on Jane’s mindset here, for all she moans about language, she managed to make her statement alliterative. Although I did have difficulty with whether ‘hellhole’ was hyphenated, two words, or one word earlier this week. So really, who am I to judge? **

3. Commas are fiddly.

I think she had given up at this point.


I exist as Jane’s personal dictionary and encyclopaedia of random knowledge. In a conversation today, I was asked “is it encorporate or incorporate?” – I despair.


I do feel somewhat proud today though. Having pointed out that her spelling of ‘stationary’ was incorrect when in the context of letters, post-it notes and staples; I also pointed out that she could easily remember how to spell it.

“It’s simple” I said, “remember to use an ‘e’ for ‘envelope’ when you mean that sort of stationery.”

Jane is now convinced she’ll never forget the spelling of stationery/stationary now. My work here is done.

*Which she has tried to blame her spelling blindness on.

**edit – as I tried to post this to Facebook it prompted me to enter a security phrase. The phrase contained hyphens, numbers and commas – make it hard why don’t you Facebook?


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